As your children grow you start to realize that things are thrown at you that you didn't plan for. Things that - when they happen - make you say, "Yowza, didn't see that one coming!!"
Where is that parenting instruction manual when you need it??!
Our little Eva had been complaining of a tummy ache for the last week. In fact, she came home from school early last Tuesday and completely missed Wednesday because of it. However, I noticed that these tummy aches seemed to happen only when she was at school or planning to go to school. She was fine all weekend. Her appetite was normal and her activities were normal. Then yesterday (a school day) she woke up with a tummy ache again....and this time she vomited. Twice. She immediately said, "I don't want to go to school!!!" and I quickly agreed with her! Vomiting and school don't mix.
.
But I noticed something else.
As soon as I said she didn't have to go to school she seemed fine. She ate breakfast like normal. She played with her brother like normal. She wanted a normal lunch. She even asked if she could go play in the snow.
Long story short, I had been asking her if something was going on at school to make her tummy hurt. She had always denied anything happening. Yesterday I decided to give it one more shot. I sat down next to her and said, "Eva, are you sure there isn't anything happening at school that is making your tummy hurt?"
Poor little girl looked at me and got all teary-eyed...and she finally shared what had been worrying her. She said she didn't like going to recess because she doesn't feel like she has any friends. She then crawled up on my lap and erupted into sobs.
Oh my word, tear my heart straight out of my chest. Seriously.
I sat with my little girl while she cried and cried telling me how she plays basketball every recess because she's just not comfortable asking anyone else to play....partly because every time she had in the past she had been turned down and told, "I already have a friend I'm playing with" and then Eva would be left out.
Again, my heart literally broke. It made me sick that Eva had been feeling this way....had been holding it inside for so long....and had gotten physically sick because of it. Trust me, she wasn't the only one with tears in her eyes.
I wasn't prepared for this. She seems so young. However, young or not...it's serious. So serious she was vomiting over it.
So Matt and I did what any parent would do....all we could to help her. We contacted her teacher, we contacted her pediatrician, we contacted the school counselor, we contacted a few family friends that have children the same age.
Most importantly, we listened to her....and we let her cry...and we held her assuring her it was going to be alright. We explained to her that even when we can't be with her (like at recess), that God is...and he loves her more than she even knows.
Today I picked her up from school and felt that we had a start....she played with two new people at recess (thanks to some orchestrating by her teacher) and said she had fun. She was happy and smiling while telling me about it. I know we have a bit of a road in front of us, this isn't going to resolve overnight. But I have faith my little girl can pull through this...and she'll be stronger because of it.
"A child seldom needs a good talking to as much as a good listening to"
--Robert Brault
6 comments:
I've noticed a huge difference in between Kindergarten and First Grade at our school.... the girls seem very catty this year cliques are being formed.... it's hard.. this post broke my heart, because I went through this a child.
Our poor little Eva. Grandma just wants to hold her so tight right now. I think all little girls go thru something like this at some time or another. But MY GRANDKIDS should not have to go thru it. Tell Eva we love her to the moon and back. Grandma F
Hi! I have been following your blog for about a year. I use to live in your neighborhood and came across your blog from your sisters:o) This broke my heart. What a brave little girl and what great parents you are. I am sure things will continue to get better and so glad to hear she had a good day. I have 3 boys 8, 4 and 2 and these situations just break my heart. All kids deserve nothing but happiness. Congrats on your pregnancy!! Angie
you tell Miss Eva she can call Aunt Kathy ANYTIME!! Love you Eva...more than rainbows!
This kills me- Eva is the definition of sweet! Even though this is only a phase, it is so hard to see your child hurt- especially from something like this. You let her know that if Ethan needs to make a visit to her recess and straighten some things out-- that I'm pretty sure he could take on her whole class. :) ...and for her, he would in a heartbeat! :) xoxo
Awwww, poor little thing! Sounds like you said and did just the right things Jamie. I remember Isabella feeling the same way at that time, but couldn't pin point what made her cry & give her a tummy ache to go to school.
Such a cute little picture of Eva. <3
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