From the amount of weight gained while pregnant....to whether you breast or bottle feed...to the number of children you choose to have. Lately I've noticed just how much judging there is going on in this world....especially among mothers.
Judging.
Comparing.
Competing.
Whatever you want to call it, it runs rampant in the parenting world. We spend our days teaching our children to love and accept others, yet we think nothing of dolling out a "she brought STORE-BOUGHT treats to the class party?!!!!" right in front of our child. It seems we all can't come to grips with someone that does things a little differently than we do.
The parents that let their children eat at McDonalds are judged because McDonalds is horrible for their health. The parents that don't let their children eat at McDonalds are judged because they are denying their children one of the fundamental joys of childhood.
The parents that let their children stay up late are judged because studies show children need sleep. The parents that have their children in bed by 8:00 are judged because - especially if they work - they aren't spending enough quality time with them in the evenings.
The mother that orders take-out nearly every night is judged because her children are not eating quality food. The mother that makes everything from scratch is judged because she's setting unrealistic expectations for her children and their future.
The parents that vaccinate on schedule are judged because - gasp! - haven't they read the latest information regarding vaccines and health?! The parents that do not vaccinate on schedule or - gasp! - do not vaccinate at all are judged because they are endangering their children!
The mother that shows up in the carpool line in sweats is judged because she's a mess. The mother that showers and dresses nicely each day is judged because she must be trying to impress others.
The mothers that provide homemade treats in the classroom are judged for being over-achievers.
The mothers that provide store-bought treats are judged for being lazy.
The fathers that coach the little league teams are judged for their coaching style.
The fathers that do not coach are judged for not being involved.
Do I need to go on?
I have to wonder why, as parents, we spend so much time judging other parents....when we all know just how hard it is to be a parent?
Having a child (or children) is one of the biggest responsibilities you'll ever have. Throw in the day-to-day responsibilities of being an adult (which varies for each family depending on who works, how old the children are, extracurricular activities, if a spouse travels, schedules, etc) and you realize that we all have our own unique situations that result in making choices that best work for our personal families. There is a story behind every person, a reason they are the way they are. Before you judge someone for a decision they made, consider the options they may have been given before making that decision.
The mother that provided store-bought treats for the classroom party....maybe she did that so she could spend some quality time snuggling and reading with her children after a long day at work. Instead of jumping to a conclusion why don't you remind her that Kit-Kats/Reese cups/etc were your favorite treat when you were a child! Help her feel okay with her decision. She put her kiddos first.
The mother that pulls into the carpool line freshly showered and dressed nicely....maybe that morning was the only time all day that she's going to have time to actually get a shower in! Tell her she looks nice!!
I would love to see all of us practicing a little more grace. Stop comparing. Stop assuming. You make the choices that are best for YOU, I'll make the choices that are best for ME, and lets stop the critiquing. We are all in the trenches of parenthood together. Let's lift each other up instead of tearing one another down. There is absolutely NO way to be a perfect mother....but there are a million ways to be a really good one.
I am a mama that showers and gets ready nearly every day.
I make some killer cinnamon rolls and chocolate chip cookies.
I stink at making brownies.
I own a sewing machine, but can't sew a straight line.
I'm passionate about delaying vaccines.
I'm good at photography.
I love to read to my children.
I'm no good at playing Star Wars...but I'm willing to try.
I've never volunteered to coach anything.
When I take my youngest to playgroups, I am often the oldest mother.
I let my children listen to Jimmy Buffett.
I like the taste of alcohol, but rarely drink.
I try very hard to keep my house picked up, but some days it's a losing battle.
I feed my family a lot of organic foods and we do not eat at McDonalds.
I get a lot of my "good ideas" from Pinterest.
I limit my kids screen time.
I exercise every day...but I eat chips and salsa like it's my job.
I don't take my children to the park regularly.
Some days I can't wait until bedtime.
Regardless, I love my family more than anything and I'm doing the very best I can....JUST LIKE YOU.
"If you judge people you have no time to love them"
--Mother Theresa
