Summer Catch-Up: Let's make it BIG!

We had a lot of fun this summer, but it WAS a little different since we had a newborn in tow.  Matt and I decided we wanted to do something for Eva and Jaden that would always stand out to them as a highlight of the summer (besides the fact they got a new brother this summer - ha!).  Soooo we surprised them by renting a HUGE waterside for our backyard for a day.....as in 26-FEET-TALL huge!

Their expressions?  Priceless.

Their day?  Unforgettable.

Anxiety. I'm no pro, but this is how we deal.

This was a post I was never going to write.

Never.

Simply put, it was something that our family was dealing with that I didn't think needed to be put on this blog.  I write a lot on this blog because - ultimately - it's my journal.  This was an issue that was personal enough I didn't feel like I needed to write about it...I didn't think others needed to read it.

However, the more I talk about this issue (among friends and other social circles) the more I realize that a LOT of other parents are dealing with this with their children.  Quite honestly, the more I talked to others the more I realized their stories helped me learn how to help MY child!  So today I am sharing...

What am I talking about?

Anxiety.

Yep, our sweet little Eva has been dealing with anxiety for about a year now.  She gets herself so worried about certain situations that she literally makes herself physically sick.

It's heartbreaking as a parent because you want to do everything you can to help your child...but you feel somewhat helpless.

I am not going to go into a TON of detail about Eva's anxiety (I have found through talking to other parents that anxiety manifests itself in many different ways for different children....but strategies to deal with that anxiety can be universal).

I will preface this by saying I am NO professional when it comes to this, I have learned from reading what I can find on this, talking to other parents, as well as trial and error.  Here is what works for us...

1.  Find the "triggers" for the anxiety.  For us personally this was a LONG road.  I'm not sure Eva even knew exactly what triggered her anxiety.  We spent a LOT of time trying to figure this one out (and in some areas we are still working on it)...but patience and persistence has paid off.

2.  Get a support crew in place.  I work closely with Eva's teacher, the school guidance counselor, and another support member at Eva's school.  When I say closely, I mean that at one time we were all emailing each other daily to report on how Eva was at home and how she was at school.  This actually helped in finding some of the "triggers".  Eva was also aware that we were all talking, and for her this gave her a sense of peace.  

3.  Give your child the tools needed to combat the anxiety.  Eva and I talk A LOT about how to handle her anxiety.  We have read books and done activities to help her learn how to deal with it.  Yesterday we had a MAJOR breakthrough.  Eva was in a situation that would normally cause her extreme anxiety.  She said she could feel her tummy start to hurt and her eyes well up with tears.  She said she raised her hand to go to the nurses office......but then PUT HER HAND DOWN AND WAS ABLE TO CALM HERSELF DOWN.  She did it.  On her own.  I was soooooo proud of her.

4.  Take baby steps.  If your child was afraid of the dark you wouldn't send them into a pitch black room and tell them to deal with it!  Nooooo!  You would let them leave the light on for a little bit, then you would give them a nightlight when the lights eventually did go out.  You must try to deal with anxiety the same way.  Take baby steps...and celebrate each one!

5.  Do NOT play into the anxiety.  I make sure I never say, "Oh poor Eva....that has to be sooo hard.  You poooor thing!!"  I'll be honest, this was a hard one for me to accept (you DO feel bad for your child), but accepting it has helped.  We have learned to deal with her anxiety WITHOUT drama.  I have learned that if I GET dramatic about it, it's only going to get worse.  When anxiety flares up it's ugly head I stay calm, we look at the facts, and think about how best to deal with the situation.  Leave the drama out of it (on a side note, I really think this helps her learn to stay calm too and look at things logically).

4.  If needed, get outside help.  For us personally, we have contacted an outside counselor but have yet to set up an appointment.  Simply put, I have done my research...the counselor is in place...she is there if we feel we should need her.  As a parent you DON'T always know the best way to help your child.  Don't be afraid to turn to someone that is a professional for help.

5.  Pray.  As many of your know, I believe 110% in the power of prayer.  For a long time I have prayed   for Eva and her anxiety, but it was actually by talking to someone that my prayers completely changed (SEE...this is why I am writing this....we can ALL learn from each other)!!  I was randomly talking to one of my former students one day.  I had her as a fourth grader, but she is now in college.  She dealt with anxiety for a long time and ended up seeing a therapist for it.  When I asked her if seeing the therapist helped (she no longer deals with anxiety) her response was this...."I'll be honest, I prayed and prayed that God would not just help me get THROUGH my anxiety...I prayed that He would completely HEAL me from my anxiety. I don't want to give any credit to the therapist for something I truly feel GOD did."  Wow.  That REALLY made an impact on me and the wording of my prayers completely changed from that moment on.  On top of that, I am recently part of a group of mothers that get together once a week simply to pray for our children.  Knowing that a specific group of ladies (as well as others) are praying for Eva EVERY DAY is amazing.   On this same note, I frequently use a window marker to write Bible versus on my kiddos bathroom mirror.  I try to make the passage pertinent to something going on in their lives.  Recently I decided to write a song lyric on there instead. It's a song we listen to in the car by Lincoln Brewster called "Today is the Day".  Anyway, the chorus of this song says, "I WON'T WORRY about tomorrow, I'm giving You my FEARS and sorrow, where You lead me I will follow - I'm trusting in what you say - TODAY IS THE DAY!!!"  The cool thing is that I see Eva singing it in the mornings...and smiling.  It's something small, but sometimes those small things make a big impact. 

Soooo....there you have it.  Keeping in mind that I am not a pro, this is what - at this point - is working for us.  Bottom line is that we just love these little kiddos more than life itself and we will literally do everything in our power to help them.  My hope is that if someone out there is dealing with anxiety with their little ones, maybe this will help.

XOXO....

Jamie

4 Months Old...

Greyson Steel....you are already 4 months old.  Where does time go?!  Here are a few things I want to remember at this stage of your life...

You are SUCH a happy baby.  People comment frequently on how easily you smile.  I love how your eyes smile right along with you....

 



 

That being said, you DO occasionally have a fussy period.  Usually this happens in the evenings.  When you get super fussy there is not too much we can do that will console you.  You just simply need to cry and that's OK.  This summer we would walk you outside (you LOVE to be outside) and that would help, but now that the evenings are getting a little cooler it's not quite as easy.  Regardless, this does not happen that often.

 

You started to love your baths - it sure took awhile!  I was still bathing you in the bathroom sink at nearly 3 months because you weren't so sure about your baby bathtub.  Now you enjoy it.

 

You have quite a little following of neighbor kiddos that adore you.  Sometimes I giggle because I'll walk into a room and there will be about 6 children huddled around you talking to you (Mommy won't let them touch you - too many germs!).  You are always smiling at them - you love the attention!  I think you'll be well taken care of when you go to school and they are all looking out for you!

 

 

You love to snuggle.  You are my little snuggle bug!

 

Your brother and sister take amazing care of you.  They give you your binki, wipe up spit-up, let me know when you need a diaper change (they haven't tackled that task on their own yet), and occasionally will just hold you and cuddle you.  I've also noticed that when other children are present they become just a teeny bit possessive of you....and I think it's too cute.

 

On Tuesdays and Thursdays it's just you and me kiddo!  Eva and Jaden are both at school so you and I spend a lot of quality time together.  I love it when we have NOTHING on the agenda - we just snuggle and play!  I am soooo very thankful I have this one on one time with you because both your brother and sister got my undivided attention at one time in their lives too (Eva when she was born/little, Jaden after Eva started school, and now you have time too)! 

 

You are a CHUNK!  You are already in 9-12 month clothing!!  The other night we were at Jaden's school and a woman asked me how old you are.  When I told her she said, "Oh my!  He's a chunk!"  Ha!  I love your little baby rolls and find myself kissin' on them alllllll the time!

 

You are an amazing sleeper!  You now sleep COMPLETELY through the night - not even waking for your pacifier. 

 

You love TV.  This makes me laugh because I don't like you to watch it, but if it's on it will quickly catch your attention!  I know it's just the colors and movement that attracts you but I find myself quickly occupying your attention with something else!  Ha!

 

 

Simply put, you are an amazing little guy Greyson and you have brought us so much love and happiness!!  Love you little guy!

One of my favorite things to do...

I love to occasionally have something special as an afternoon snack for my little munchkins when they get home.  I love the smile on their faces when they walk in the door and the smell of fresh baked goodies is in the air.  It is just a very simple way to let them know that I was thinking about them while they were away....

 

Mmmmm.....blueberry muffins for my loves!
 

"Each day comes bearing it's own gifts.  Untie the ribbons."

--Ruth Ann Schabacker

 

PS.  Two posts today!!  Read on my friends!

Summer Catch Up: Matt and Eva's Triathlon

I promised I'd get caught up in my summer blogging, so this post is the start of just that!  This summer Matt and Eva both participated in their first triathlon!!  I was so proud of both of them - they did a GREAT job!!!  Enjoy some pics....

 

 

This is Matt after he had finished the swimming portion of his triathlon and was starting the biking portion...

 

That face is full of determination!!  He was surprised to find that the biking portion was the hardest for him (he expected the swimming to be his hardest)...

 

This was Matt right after he finished running....he got 6th in his age group for the entire triathlon!!  Go Matt!!!

 

Matt and Jaden waiting for Eva's race to start....

Our little girl...ready to ROCK IT!

Swimmers on your mark...get set...GO!  Eva's wearing a blue swim cap (kinda hard to see her).

 

She's out of the water and running to her transition area to start the biking portion of her Triathlon...

 

And she's off....

 

Done with the biking portion...and she's taking to streets on foot!!  Go Eva GO!!!

 

This part of Eva's race was my favorite.  She came around the corner and saw the finish line...and saw a boy in front of her.  I could see it in her eyes...she wanted TO BEAT that boy!!!  She took off like a woman on a mission....and she beat the boy!  As soon as she was done she came running up to me.  I hugged her and said, "AWESOME JOB PEANUT!!!!"  Her response?  She smiled and said, "Do you see that boy over there?  I beat him."

 

That's my girl...

 

Then there is this little cutie patootie!!  He seemed quite confused all morning.  I felt like he was saying, "Ummm...this is NOT our normal morning routine!!!"  He was a good boy!!

 

It was a super fun morning and we are already looking forward to next year!!!  Who knows, maybe we'll be a family of triathletes!!

 

"You learn to do your best even when it's hard, even when you are tired and may be hurting a little bit.  It feels good to show some courage."

--Joe Namath

I wanted to take it all back....

Jaden attends Pre-K at a Christian school that has grades Pre-k thru 12th grade.  There is a drop off lane in the mornings when I take Jaden to school, but I explained to him the first day that I would park and walk him in until he felt more comfortable.  That first week of school he kept telling me how important it was to him that I walked him in!!  He wasn't even sure how to get to his classroom and I could tell that worried him.

Well...we are starting our 3rd week of school and I'm (HAPPILY) still walking him into this classroom each morning.  

This morning I was making breakfasts, packing lunches, and chatting with Eva and Jaden about their upcoming day and I absent-mindedly said, "Jaden, do you want me to walk you into school today or drop you off?"

He responded, "You can just drop me off mom".

Whhhaaaaaaaatttttttttt?

I was in the process of making a peanut butter and jelly and nearly dropped the knife.  

I realized all too quickly that HE may be ready for me to just drop him off...but I wasn't. 

I wasn't even NEAR ready.

I was like 12 years away from ready.

I soooooo wanted to go back in time and take that question I asked him back.  

I looked at him and said, "are you sure buddy?!  I'm more than happy to walk you in!"  Jaden said, "Nope mom...I got this."

We loaded into the car and dropped Eva off at her school first.  We all kissed her goodbye and as she got out of the car I told her what I frequently tell her before she runs up to the school...."I'll pray for you today!"  She smiled and off she ran.

Next up was Jaden.  We made our way to his school.  Yes, I checked at least twice to MAKE SURE he didn't want me walking him in.  He assured me he didn't.

(Why DID I have to ask him that question in the first place?!??!??!!!)

We pulled around into the "drop off" lane.  When we got to his door he unbuckled his seatbelt, gave me a big kiss, rubbed my hair, and unlatched the door. 

I looked at my little guy....standing there with a backpack as big as he is and a smile he couldn't contain.  I had tears in my eyes.

"Jaden....I'll pray for you today buddy."

And just like his sister, he smiled, shut the door, and ran up to his school.  Without me.

Tonight I am thankful for 3 amazing and healthy children...I am thankful that my children have the opportunity to go to school..I am thankful that they are growing and learning...and I am trusting God that He's "got this" when my little ones start spreading their wings.

My Very Favorite Notre Dame Fans....