This past weekend my friend Kim and I decided to lug out my old tub of childhood/high school/college memories and look through it. We had some good laughs (could my hair have gotten any bigger?) and I will admit that I was most definitely wearing my Prom Princess tiara the whole time we were looking through things (and just maybe while we were making dinner too).
But while looking through it I started thinking about something a little more serious.....choices.
After Kim left I started going back through that tub (this time without the tiara on)....and again today I did the same thing. I looked through pictures, and notes, and yearbook messages. I looked at artwork, and poetry, and journal entries. I looked through cards, and letters, and special mementos.
I looked through my life for nearly 20 some years (up until the time I got married). As I sat curled up for the umpteenth time with my tub of memories, I laughed and I got teary-eyed.....but it also became very clear to me that so many of the choices we make (especially during our high school and college years) have such a huge impact on our lives. A HUGE IMPACT.
Yes, God's hand was in many of those decisions....and yes, I believe in fate. But I also have a free will and ultimately those decisions were mine.
It was kind of amazing/scary/overwhelming to think about.
I also realized how much our choices impact others. It's an intricately woven web. The choices I made were the cause of happiness for those around me....and unfortunately the cause of hurt and sadness too.
It may sound odd but this allll came rushing at me today like a tidal wave as I sifted through everything. I came to the realization that the choices I made during those years (good and bad) got me to the exact point I am in my life today. Had I made even one of them differently my life could have taken a totally different path.
Unreal.
And for the record, I think I made some great choices during those years and I am so very thankful for where my life is today....but there are choices I also regret and my heart hurts for those.
Soooo my friends....just a little nugget to sink your teeth into and think about. I personally am just a little overwhelmed by the thought of it.
3 comments:
What a true sign of maturity; and I don't mean just in age. You are quite a lady and I appreciate you more each day. I know the best choice you made -- my son, because he gave you to us!
I couldn't agree more Jamie. Kind of amazing to go back and trace 1 choice to see how it shapes our lives now. I think about my choice to transfer to Anderson after my freshman year, and then my choice to go back for a 5th yr. to play baseball. And that 5th yr. is when I met Amanda. God's intricate hand at work!
So true! I enjoyed the blast into the past that we took, your hair wasn't "that" big in the photos! I am glad we could look through each others memory boxes, great times my friend! And if the crown fits...well...wear it :)
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